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I was born in a wealthy, well-known family. As a daughter of a "Sayeed" (descendant of the prophet Muhammad), life was especially difficult to meet everyone's high religious expectations. Whenever I went out in public, I had to be escorted by my father or one of my brothers and I had to cover myself with the abeyya (a full-length black robe) and the hijab (a head covering).
My conversion to Christ began when I was in eighth grade. At that time I started taking a Bible correspondence course secretly. I was considered a brilliant student, inquiring, wondering how different people prayed, and I wanted to read the Bible. My interest was intellectual mainly. I kept it strictly secret from my family and everyone that I was taking this Bible correspondence course. I completed courses on the New Testament and the Old Testament and was sent a beautiful Bible.
The more that I read the Bible, the more angry I became with my own religion. My parents complained that I was not doing my namaz (Muslim prayers). I started arguing with them about faith. This made a lot of problems with my family. I didn't hardly realize that I was converting. I was becoming more and more sure that maybe I was a Christian. But I believed there had to be some special ceremony to really be one.
Then there was that awful day when they found my Bible and Christian books in my room. My father and brother beat me. My brother was a very strict Muslim and he told me he would rather kill me over the honor of our Islamic faith than have me ruin the family's reputation. I really loved my Bible and they burned it page by page in front of me. "This is how strong your faith is, this Christianity," they said. "If there is another God besides Allah he will come and save you."
When I argued with them, denying that I believe in another God, they said, "What is this, arguing from the Bible and not the Quran." From this time on, nobody in my family loved me. They beat me a lot. I still wasn't really sure I was a Christian but I just wanted to love like in the Bible.
One day I was in very bad condition and a saw a beautiful man in light garments. "You are a lovely person," he said. "You are not alone. Be strong in your faith." I realized later that this was a vision that appeared to me.
My father thought that if I got married I would forget all about this. So he arranged an engagement for me. I knew that the man he had chosen was not a good man. He was always irritating me about religion and he was very strict about Islam. I didn't see how I could survive with him. So I went to my father the night before and said, "I cannot marry him." My father said I was shaming him and that I had no respect for his reputation. He beat me again and locked me in my room.
I had never had the idea of leaving my family before. I didn't think I could live without my family. But suddenly one afternoon, someone said to me, "Get up and leave this place." So I thought if God wants me elsewhere I will go. There was still money in my little purse. Somehow I was able to pry open the door. We have a full and busy house, but that afternoon no one was there! I quickly went out of the house and hailed a taxi to take me to the bus station.
I found lodging late that night at a public guest house. It was a very bad place, smelly and dirty, and mostly village women. That night, I prayed, "Lord, I have left everything for Your name. If you please, show me, help me."
God really saved my life. I wound up living with a wonderful priest and his wife. They clearly explained to me what a Christian is, how to become one, and what Christians believe. I was baptized and confirmed several months later.
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