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Another shaking up- another tragedy Posted on 10/30/2008 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (0)

By the time my last entry arrived in your inbox, it was time to send out another plea for help. As though history has repeated itself just after the anniversary of the Kashmir earthquake, once agian my land has been shaken up. Once again it is the part of the country where there is little or no Christian presence and where there were probably no Christian hospitals for at least many miles. Once again an earthquake has hit my country. In the south of Pakistan, in the Baluchistan provence where extremists and violence has been the order of the day, another great tragedy has struck. We watched in sadness as all the old pain and shock of the last earthquake came home to us all over again. Less in quantity but not in impact, the same disaster, the same destruction as not a single house stands and dead bodies pile up to be buried into a mass grave. The cold is coming and it has been known to go down to -20 in Baluchistan. Oh Lord, please raise up Christian men and women to go forth to be there as they were in Kashmir, as they were nearly 70 years ago in this same place. Dadi's eyes filled with tears as we watched TV. Amma drew close to her and held, preempting the emotional moments ahead. Dadi had lost her best friend in an earthquake there some 70 years ago. She had gone home to Quetta for a week and had never come back. Dadi had had a fight with her friend before she left, thinking it would all be ok in a week. But her friend had never come home having died in the earthquake. 70 years ago the same kind of destruction had struck. Dadi has never recovered from the pain of that. Please pray for my people and for those who have lost their family and friends and for those who can be Christ in these situations. Pray for the Secret Believers in the area that by this earthquake their operations may not have been exposed and there would not be an attack on their spaces and their lives. Pray for Ziarat the place where this earthquake has happened.

Interfaith Harmony - HMPH! Posted on 10/29/2008 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (0)

There was a letter to our Pastor asking him to come to a panel discussion on interfaith harmony between Christians and Muslims in a developing Pakistan. How wonderful all this 'talk' sounds! But then the bubble bursts because there is a swift response from the Taliban who refuse this invitation. Our Pastor has felt he cannot go for this interfaith meeting. He wants to take part in these talks but we had a long talk a week or so ago and it was decided that a representative of the Church deaconate would go instead. There had been some conflict (what pastor does not face this) some had thought he should go and show that he wants to support interfaith harmony and that he should 'talk'. This is where my head starts to spin and I start to see red. We had spoken the evening before 'Pastor you will go and be welcomed but almost like a poor little Christian, I do not want you a man of God to be treated like that. There is no such thing as interfaith harmony- harmony implied equal involvement and symphony of parties. You will be welcome as long as you smile and nod your head and that is interfaith harmony because you choose to be tolerant of them. If you say something in slight contradiction to their opinions, they will either insult you there and then or not invite in you in future because your opinions are not harmonious with theirs. At the end of the day harmony is when you and I are in agreement with them without expressing our opinions' There were many who were in agreement with me. But the Pastor set me right. 'Maaria, I agree with your opinion on harmony and our opinions but my child if I went or any of us went it would not be as someone important, it would be to be a presence and to be a presence of the Holy Spirit is something very important. That presence just attitude and by being Christ can change the course of what appears to be 'just talks'. I do not care if they treat me as a 'poor little isai (follower of Isa) padre. If need be God can give me words. If we do not go we will be sidelined however, as Pastor I cannot go and condone their opinions. Therefore we must pray that the Lord will guide us to the one who will represent the Church and be a presence of the Holy Spirit and will be Christ in that environment. We live in a very schizophrenic environment where there is talk of 'peace' but no real desire for it. Muslim leaders - even if it is reluctantly - will sit at a table and talk about tolerance and believing in One God and being people of the Book- but in reality they despise us and want to convert us. At the end of the day the similar things could be said of those of us who sit in silence nodding our heads and staring into our cups of tea rather than speaking out. We may not despise them, our motivation may be love, but we do not agree with the theory that says 'we all believe in God and that is enough' and we truly want them to come to know Jesus. That makes such meetings so superficial to me. I struggle but the world we live in, sometimes it is important and essential for us to be a presence, not speakers, but just a presence of Jesus - and as my pastor challenged me 'Can that not change the tide?'. I just pray it will not be me they ask to go. They wont because I am a girl and I am way too young anyway. But if they were to - it could be kicking and screaming - not reacting does not come easy to me! Why should we always listen and be subject to decisions made by them and not have any say. Now that would be true harmony! But light and dark cannot be in harmony my friends- now you see our dilemma?

Sneaking in a Bible Study Posted on 10/23/2008 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (0)

Sorry for not blogging yesterday. There has been a lot going on. What with Baba Ikraam being sick. with Abba (my father) being between trips, course work and all the uncertainty in the country- I was at least a little bit overwhelmed. I was watching Heros, we get it on Satelite TV here. And sometimes I look at the complications of the drama and the plot and the lines and I think wow- do we make life this complicated or is it really! Amma does not like Heros. Abby and I watch it - but get told off if we're watching something which Amma thinks is a little bit evil! You know a youth Pastor in Pakistan, has developed a Bible Study on it. When he found that all of us spend our Monday evenings cooped up in front of TV for HEROS he had an idea. For so many Christians it is not possible to attend Church or openly Christian meetings, the Pastor made it possible to have a party every week. Four new Christians who converted from Islam some time ago were struggling over this whole question of fellowship. It has been ever so hard on them not being able to go to Church or read their Bibles openly. So they go to Christian homes on the excuse to watch Heros and that is exactly what they do, then have a discussion and a Bible Study based on the themes for the day. That way they get to fellowship, if anyone breaks in on the meeting they are safe because they are watching a secular movie in a house not a church and so what if there is the off Bible lying on the table, it is a Christian home. Sometimes I am held back in what I write to you. I know the passage used for me to pass my information on to you is a safe one. None the less, from years of being careful and very private in the way we handle information and what we say, I find it almost impossible sometimes to break out of that. That is not the same as paranoia. There too I have been. This is different. This is concern for the lives and faiths of others. Will you pray for more Pastors to be inspired with ideas that give Secret Believers the chance to worship. We had a small meeting with our Pastor yesterday. Every Christmas there is a plan for a 'Birthday Party' on the 24th of December. We have assigned the 24th to one of the babies of a Secret Believer born some years ago. The part is a chance to celebrate Christmas, have some carols, some cake, new clothes and fellowship in the celebration of the birth of Christ Jesus. Of course otherwise these brothers and sisters would not be able to have any celebrations at all. Pray for us for wisdom for a venue and plans for this years 'birthday party'.

pray for Baba Ikraam Posted on 10/17/2008 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (0)

In my last blog I mentioned Musa? Well Musa's father Ikraam used to take us to school when we were little. He had a small Auto Rickshaw in which he would pick us up from home and then take us to school. We were one of the few kids then who used to go to school in the auto rickshaw and then eventually when dad was able to afford a beat up old suzuki carrier we went to school in that- and Baba Ikraam drove that then. Oh that car! You have no idea what a frightful experience the school run used to be. But Baba Ikraam, every single morning would start our drive with prayer. He would then put on his cassettes with Zaburs and Punjabi hymns which we would sing all the way to school. He was very strict about not listening to 'Dona' (he thought all pop music was sung by Madonna and he was not too impressed) and so there was no pop music allowed in that car! But to be honest those were precious times. We learnt the Psalms through song, in Urdu, Farsi and even Arabic they are called Zaburs. We learnt lots of little praise songs and he would ask us to teach him English worship music. His favourite little chorus was 'He is Lord' and even though he did not have much English he would sing this in such a spirit of worship. There were days he sang really loud and prayed while Jonny and I had our horrible morning fights and then afternoon punching sessions. Poor Baba Ikraam, he just sang and worshipped and asked the Lord to take away our aggression. I smile when I think of those days. He taught us so much of what we know of the Bible, so much about the various truths of God and about Jesus and he shared so many testimonies with us from his difficult and painful past. We loved him dearly, especially when he stopped the car at the side of the road and allowed us to buy the forbidden roasted corn on the cobb with spicy masalah, chillie powder, black salt and lime juice. Just writing about it is making my mouth water. Amma had forbidden us from eating the stuff or drinking sugar cane juice, but neenu who was very little did not know what to do with her pocket money - so we thought 3 rupees (6 cents) was no big deal for her to spend on us. :D Today Musa came in late. Once again, for the third time since his mother has gone home to the Lord, his father has had to be put into hospital. Ikraam Baba is very sick. Everytime I fear he will not come back. This year I had a plan for Christmas, we were going to give him a special Christmas treat from the four of us. We have even bought his gift- it is lying in my cupboard. Please pray for him. He is such a faithful servant of the Lord. He prays for Christian leaders & is committed to praying for the Church & her ministry in Pakistan. Not a day goes by that we do not see him face down before the Lord praying for each one of us one by one. Pray for this family that they may always walk in the ways of the Lord. Pray for him that his heart that misses his wife so much would be comforted by the Lord and his body would be strong. He is such a precious brother, friend and father. Pray that God would raise up many more like him. I promised Musa I would get a lot of people praying for his father. They have struggled after their mother died and seeing their father's heart so broken and seeing his pain at the loss of his wife is not easy on them either. So will you pray for them please.

News on Aleena and Saba Posted on 10/17/2008 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (0)

“It is not the first time we got threats, but by the grace of God, and by the refuge of our Holy Ghost we are safe,” he said. “Every time we know the prayers of our church and other Christians are with us, which is why we are able to get the victory for our Lord.” These are the words of the Christian lawyers and activists who are working on the cases of Aleena and Saba Masih, the two Christian girls who I wrote about a couple of months ago. The two girls who were kidnapped and a claim was made that they had converted to Islam and Saba who is actually only about 13 has been married to a Muslim man. The lawyers and Christian activists who are working on this case are doing so tirelessly. The Judge involved seems to be a decent and responsible man who just wants to get to the bottom of the facts. Little Aleena the younger of the two was thrilled to go back to her mother and be in her arms but the older sister Saba was more reluctant. Perhaps because she had been married and if that marriage was consummated then she would feel that there is no future for her away from the man she must now call her husband. That coupled with the threats by the Muslim family that if she leaves she will be treated as a shame to her father's honour. She feels she is surrounded by brick walls, her options are a rock and a hard place. Little Aleena must be so scared of her experiences while away from her family. According to the news she is now with her mother but the older sister has not come home. The family's lawyers are appealing for her to come home on the basis that she is a minor and cannot make a declaration of faith or be married. Will you pray for her heart? She must be so afraid of the future. Afraid because she has been brainwashed by her 'in laws' that she will not be exepcted home, pray that while she sleeps she will be comforted and met by the Holy Spirit. Pray for the men and women working tirelessly to help her and raise up prayer for her. They have been followed and threatened and given a hard time. But they are being faithful to what God has called them to do. Can I ask you to pray for them and for protection over their lives and for wisdom for them as they seek a way to resolve this problem?

The Struggle Posted on 10/15/2008 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (0)

While Christians continue to gather to fellowship, learn & worship the Lord, outside our tents- life in Pakistan carries on. While thousands of us have been praising & worshipping, God's messengers have been sharing His word with His people in Pakistan. Many have committed to serving Him, some committed to full time Christian ministry, some felt led to join Bible College & Seminaries, others to evangelise, to walk the length of this land & share the gospel. Others have committed to being better Christians, many to being more Christ like in the upbringing of their children in a land where terror& violence is the order of the day. Pray for those who have committed to the Lord anew. Many of my friends have committed to being more Christian in their work place, to sharing Christ through their lives. I was challenged by the Lord about my attitude toward Mrs Zia& like her the Islamic Student Council. The opportunity represent Jesus is not something heralded in shiny lights & musical processions- it is right where we are - college, hospital, courts, police employment, the army, prisons, school, the road during rush hour. We may be a small minority but if we represent Him, we send a wave of change, of forgiveness and love across this land. Pray for us at this time. Life outside the Conventions carried on. The plague& threat& blackness of suicide bombing& terrorism continues. We still do not know if the man in the white outfit& long beard in the SUV next to our little green car is one of those potential suicide bombers or is involved with the aiding of one. While he strokes his long glossy beard, I watch discretely from behind my dupatta which I used to cover my head and shield me from the sun. His eyes seemed dead& I ask how one can break through to some one like that, bring them back from what seems like the point of no return. I hardly ask the question &the name of the Lord rises like music in my heart. Of course Lord, you can! Lost in thought, I suddenly notice that Mr Long Glossy Beard has turned to look into our car. Jonny was in the front seat with Musa our driver. Musa& Jonny have for some silly reason decided it’s cool to have a beard. They will grow out of it - or will they? Mr Long Glossy beard nods approvingly at the bearded boys& then at the covered girl (me) in the back seat, then his eyes settled on the cross hanging from our rear view mirror! Boy! you should have seen his expression change! First absolute disgust& then a look of sheer delight that the Christians in the car next to his had been influenced enough by his Islam. You only push Maaria that far! I wrenched off my duppatta,& threw it aside, drew my gold cross which had slipped under my shirt& put it on display. I would burn in the hot afternoon sun but not give Mr Long Glossy Beard the satisfaction of his misconceptions. HIs eyes narrowed as he looked at me again sending a coldness through me. My swift angry movements attracted unnecessary attention -maybe even antagonised him. I was convicted by the Holy Spirit. There is too much of Maaria still struggling& too little Jesus in me. Sometimes I must let these things go. If I must challenge them then there are gentler, holier& wiser ways to do it. On one hand I was seeking a solution to bring him to salvation & in a split second I was reacting to him in this angry way. This is the struggle of our lives, the desire to share Christ, but the fight to be accepted and to be distinct, the fight not to be oppressed. The battle is so great. Pray for us that our commitments at those conventions may hold.

Explosions, Bombs and craziness Posted on 10/10/2008 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (0)

So now we hear rumours that there has been an attack on a small convent school in the North. When she went on honeymoon to Swat, Daadi remembers a small Carmalite Convent and she is wondering if it is the same one. They are a very private order of Catholic nuns who spend their time devoted to prayer and do not talk to anyone. They have been serving the area for years, like many other Christian religious orders. Men and women committed to Jesus and praying for the nation and serving it through schools, medical institutions and orphanages etc... Now rumour has it the Taliban have blown up one of those. There are so many girls' schools being blown up in the North that it would be hard to say which is which. There was a bomb at the Police headquaters in Islamabad and people are dying left right and center! I read in the papers this morning that the reason those juice corners were bombed was because they had become dating points. So now coffee shops and juice corners and little tea shops at the side of the road will start to be frightened, they will stop serving mixed groups and it will become more and more segregated. They are ruining my beautiful Pakistan and my beautiful people. They are making us suspicious of one another, we are losing trust for one another. What should our response be in the midst of the credit crunch and these bombs? Lord Jesus come to our aid- help me - I can help no further than the tears that pour out of my eyes when I look around me.

Eid Holidays, Christian Conventions and Bombs... Posted on 10/08/2008 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (0)

Last week college closed for Eid. I really took a break & gave in- which is why on Sunday I was swamped trying to finish project work before Monday when College re opened which is why I was not able to blog. I was trying to finish my work so I would be free to go to the 'Jesus Lives Christian Convention' where believers from all around the country gather to fellowship. It was in another city and would be a 2 hour drive to get there and back. We only got back at about 2 am. We have been back for 2 more nights since then. October is the Christian Convention season. All over the country conventions take place where Believers gather to receive teaching & fellowship. In most cities a field or a place will be hired & a huge Shamayana (tent) will be put up. It is the best time of the year for something like this so you escape the extreme heat of summer, the evenings get cooler, but the heat of the flood lights makes up for it. For miles you can hear the sound of Believers praising the Lord in a loud voice. Amid security concerns, many of the faithful have continued to come. The teaching and worship is normally in Urdu and some conventions have a guest speaker from abroad. However, sadly the numbers of attendees are dropping. Every one is afraid that a large gathering like a Christian Convention is likely to attract attention and anger of extremists. Conventions that used to be held without a second thought every single year and were respected- had complete government permission have now become a potential risk. There is security all over the place, policemen searching those who come, checking cars and parking spaces, checking ladies bags and searching men. Those poor policemen, (muslims) are only doing their jobs, but the Christian men attending become overly protective of their wives, daughters and sisters. Last year we had a sad incident when a young man was offended that a policeman had looked at his sister, so he started a fight. The policeman was decent enough to let it go and be understanding but it could have become a potential police case. But do you see something of our struggles? Who can I blame, not the young man - because he has learned to live on the defensive, not the policeman, because perhaps he himself was offended to see a Christian woman in a place of worship without her head covered so he looked again- and she was pretty too. I blame those who have let violence rip through my land. I blame those who only yesterday planted low intensity bombs at juice corners in Lahore and those who drive trucks laden with ammunition into hotels and blow up innocent people. I blame those who serve fear and anger and hatred. But then I think here we are 3000 Christians in a tent, 200+ Policemen who do not know Jesus, protecting us from violence- a man of God standing up in front preaching the Word- and I am forced to stop playing a blame game, and with some thousand believers am brought to my knees and join in the singing and praying, praying that the Word of God will touch these security officers and Jesus name will be glorified, lifted high and known among those in this tent - yes even the policemen!

Tents where change happens Posted on 10/08/2008 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (0)

Can I ask you to pray for this month and the Christian conventions around the country. When I was little, the numbers from one night to the next went up now I think they are going down. Not because there are less Christians in Pakistan, but because I think there is more pressure, either higher performance goals at work or by communities where they live or simply fear of taking their families to a potentially dangerous place. When I was little there was always a risk but it was based on threats or distant acts of violence. Now violence has come too far into our every day lives and we are almost ruled by it. But I ache. I know how much of my Christian faith & knowledge has come from these convention meetings. Watching God at work. If you have an image of the masses of people that followed Jesus around while he was on earth then I think you can imagine one of Pakistan's many Christian conventions. Aimed at Christians they have been a place where mothers, fathers, grandparents, children, aunts and uncles have all come to renew their faith and receive refreshing teaching from the gospel. The tents fill with those hungry for more of the Word of God, some of them walk or drive for miles, some from communities where there is no Church for the Christians and where the Christians are not allowed to meet or have a Pastor. As a result they ache for teaching & fellowship. When they come they feel reconnected to the body of Christ. What a beautiful image of God's family. To be there for the most vulnerable when they are most lonely. I used to help with the children's ministry teams. But of late thats been harder as we have moved further away from the convention. Many children do not go to the kids' tent, preferring to walk around. So Jonny and I have taken it upon ourselves to make sure these kids do not wander out into the open fields outside & get lost. They are only little so to expect them to sit quietly & not move for 3 to 4 hours is a little cruel, I know how I used to hate having to sit still. I loved to sing the zaburs (Psalms in Urdu) & walk around the tent & talk to people & look at people, watching closely, old grandmums with their white chaddars cover their heads, their hands lifted to the sky & their voices reaching heaven as they stormed its gates with their prayers and praises. Old men hardly able to stand were willing to dance before their Lord, pastors laying hands on the sick, watching those with years of congestion & coughs, healed as the Lord touched them through the healing ministry, seeing people walk away healed of paralysis & all kinds of illness- young men & women responding to the altar call and committing to serve the Church in Pakistan. It was in those tents, walking around, watching, listening to the teaching from the Word and singing those Hymns and Psalms that I received a wealth of Christian teaching and met Jesus. It was in those lives that I met with Jesus and through those years of being taken by my parents even when I was rebelling a little and not wanting to go - it was there that Jesus became my everything and not just me but thousands of others will share this and testify to this. Pray for those gatherings, pray for the young ones there that from this tender age their lives will be impacted and the next generation of Pakistan's leadership will be prepared. Your prayers will change the despair and hopelessness of our world as many more hear the Call of God break through this darkness and bring hope.

Something special for the little ones Posted on 10/06/2008 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (0)

Sorry for not writing on Sunday we got a little bit carried away playing pass the parcel and musical chairs! It was Leela's birthday. She turned 4 and so we decided that all the sunday school kids needed a break. It's been a long hot month of Ramadhan and I think the kids are a little bit tired of not having anywhere to go. There are no decent trips we can make because if we take them anywhere then there is no water and food available in the market, Gup Shup, our favourite coffee shop is closed and so it just makes it harder in the heat. When Neenu (my baby sister who helps with sunday school) looked at the calendar and saw it was Leela's birthday coming up she was so excited about it. We set to work with the plans. It gave them so much to think about. The Sunday School Kids made the invitations and gave them out in Church last sunday and then every one made some food and brought it to Church. There is an old Mango tree in the far end of the Garden by the yellow wall which seperates us from the Government School building. So we layed out brightly coloured sheets and paper plates and glass. By the time everyone put out their food it was just amazing. There was such a spread, rice, mince, chicken curry, rotis (hot flat bread also called chapati) pickles, kebabs, you name it. There must have been about 70 of us after Church. The Mango tree gave shade and a small pedestal fan gave us some breeze and kept us cool as did the hose pipe that the kids used to have a water fight after they cut the Chocolate Cake I had made and covered in bunties (which is our version of m'n'm). The youth group helped with the games while the adults sat back on cushions with cups of tea from a flask. It was a precious time of fellowship. Little Esther was telling one of her little friends Anna about her incident at school and how Jesus has helped Mani win the race at school even though 'the mean people did not let him drink any water'. Mani and Ether's older cousin Josiah turned to them and said 'they are not mean people they do not know Jesus - if they know Jesus then they will understand you better'. Sania, the Sunday School teacher looked at Amma. 'They are so safe here, they can say anything. I worry about these little comments in school, but I praise God that here they are safe, here they are playing with family and can say anything and we can correct them or guide them but what happens when we are not around?' Sania's comment highlighted our greatest fear but then I looked back at my own childhood and I know that though I spoke of Jesus to my friends I had learnt somehow to be discrete and be careful, sometimes I have slipped up - the Lord had cared for me in those times. Even now at 20 I struggle with doing and saying things correctly and inoffensively. God would take care of them - we just had to be watchful big brothers and sisters.

Eid- the end of Ramadhan Posted on 10/03/2008 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (0)

After I sent you the last blog I thought a cup of tea and a quick nap was in line. I managed the cup of tea but I had only to put on the news and realised that finally the debate over whether or not it was eid of not was over - the chief Imam in Pakistan had declared that he had spotted the moon and that Ramadhan was officially over in Pakistan. The debate is always over whether to follow Saudi Arabia who are seen as the authority by most Wahabi Muslims and those who say that ramadhan should end only with the sighting of the moon which will mean a complete 30 day ramadhan. As I flicked on the TV, there she was. We all knew her face, a famous Pakistani TV presenter, her eyes glittering with Khol, her lips with sparkly make up and her hair only partially visible as she had her head semi covered with a think dupatta (scarf). A pale blue dupatta edged with twinkling lace and a smile on her face as she announced that the following broadcasts on Pakistan Television would be Eid programs and celebrations of this special religious festival. All of sudden everyone's finery was out of their cupboards. The shopping that people had been doing these last weeks on display, gold trinkets hanging from their necks and ears and sprinklings of jewels all to celebrate Eid. The roads jammed with traffic in seconds as young people and families set out for celebration meals and Eid Milan Parties. My first thought like that of many other Christians was - Allelujah! At least now we could resume something of a normal life and not be in a goldfish bowl! Which is what life felt like during ramadhan. My heart ached as three little girls of about 13 came on screan. They wore pastel silks and sparkly shalwar kameezes but their little pretty faces were lined with hijabs and they sat, eyes lowered and sand naats- worship to Prophet Mohammad. There was no music just a chant like song as music to some Muslims is prohibited and considered unclean. A prayer rose in my heart - that their song be changed- their hearts dance to the music of Jesus- that they some day may catch a glimpse of the Music to King Jesus and may want to be part of His celebrations. Will you pray that with me?