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In times such as this Posted on 04/28/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (4)

Every now and again I need to remind you that Maaria and Maaria’s family are not the only one’s who need prayer. We are here to represent to you the needs of the people in my land. I have been so blessed by your emails and your messages. Thank you. When I share those (as safely as I can), when I share with the young people in my Church that there are people praying, I know it makes a difference. But I cannot stress enough to you that this is potential civil war. Our military have launched an operation against the Taliban. The likelihood of Talibanised pockets across the country stirring up trouble throughout the country is now a greater threat than before. Now if they attack it will be an aggressive attack in retaliation and it will be worse than a take over. A take over in itself would be gradual and ultimately deathly. This will be an all out operation against the state which they see as un Islamic. We need so much prayer. Nothing is simple any more. Every thing seems complicated. And then there is the word of God. Simple, uncomplicating, shining a light on our paths. Our word is to obey. Perhaps things become complicated because men and women do not want to obey and walk out in the paths lit by the Light of Christ and so we grope in the dark and conflict begins. But even then as a human being I am forced to say that the world we live in, the Pakistan I knew is gone for good, there are no simple clear cut identities and spaces for us, the identification of friend and enemy has blurred. Whether or not your speech is offensive against Islam, Allah, the Propeht and the Koran, our very faith in Jesus makes us an offense, makes us a blasphemous presence to many in this land. Those who think differently, will either leave Pakistan. If not they themselves will be living in gated luxury communities or will be walking the tight rope to keep themselves un noticed. Who will be our friend tomorrow, who will be our enemy? Who will we cry to help if it gets to that? For now the Pakistani army have launched an attack against them. But then I guess Jesus is our best friend. Who could be a better friend than him who lays his life down? Jesus fits the bill and that is who we must look to for a simplification of all the complexities that the evil one is spinning around us. We live in a potential war zone, life is not simple, the path is not always clear, the enemy is not always ugly with horns and a three pronged pitch fork, or with a beard and turban. Sometimes the one with the beard is the angel in disguise or a believer. For these days I ask that you pray for the Maaria’s, the youth groups, the Churches, the mothers and fathers, the families in Pakistan. For parents as they struggle with letting their children go to school or not, whether to go shopping or not, whether to use a busy route or not, whether to stay with friends if it gets too late or tell the kids to come home. For children and young people for wisdom and a desire to walk in righteousness and the light of Christ. For each one of us, discernment and a close walk with Jesus in these times.

Waiting... Posted on 04/23/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (12)

Its late at night, about 12 pm and I am smelling of smoke and am looking at the embers dying out. Baba and I have just set fire to all the letters from Uncle Hameed to do with his new believer friends who converted from Islam. The news breaking is not good. The air is full of questions and confusion. No one knows what to do. I am not going to college for a couple of days. I think it is better to stay at home and work from here. I am full of confusion. The news says the Taliban is coming. They are near Islamabad. Last night my father's cousin called from France. He has booked a ticket from Daadi and wnats me to take her to france and take her out of Pakistan. Daadi wept. She does not want to go. 'Maaria beti (daughter) what will I do going to France now at this time. I am old, this is where I was born, this is where I want to die. Never mind, let the Mullah's come. I have only a few years of life left, it does not matter. You go. You go. Take Johnny and Guriya (my little sister who dadi calls her doll) and go with Abby to the West. Go and make a life for yourselves. Your parents and I will be a presence for Jesus here. Go. We have Sharifaan and Safu and Musa and all these people to take care of us. Go be free to say Jesus is your Lord'. As I started to protest she showed me a letter from her own cousin in Karachi. Phupho jani is dadi's cousin and they are leaving Karachi for the US. Her letter left me shaking and shocked. I grew up with her grandson, we played together when we were little and were more like brother and sister than anything else. I should have known something was up when Amma left the breakfast table when Daadi came this morning. I sensed something but I was pre occupied with the news from my friend in Peshawar saying she is leaving for Kuwait. Every one was leaving. Who was going to stay here? Anyway Phupho Jani, had sent an email which was given daadi last night. Abby did not knwo what it said, he just printed it and gave it to daadi. Daadi spoke to me. 'Beti, Michael is 28 now. They are leaving. They are going to the USA and they want to take you wth them. YOu are 22 now and you can continue your studies there. But Phupho Jani is asking whether you are willing to go as Michael's fiance. Beti Michael's parents want him to marry you and they want to save you from this madness in Pakistan. In time there you can find someone to marry our Gurya...' I know she said something but I did not want to listen. I left the room and on thsi very same computer I wrote to Michael asking him to stop this whole craziness. I know in Pakistan marrying cousins is not uncommon but for me its impossible especially when we grew up as brother and sister. How could we switch off. Baba looked at me with a question in his eyes. I simply said 'NO'. He smiled. I am pleased he smiled. But then he said 'Your earthly father wants to keep you next to him, your mother and I are going no where this is where we will be with would brothers and sisters. But you must ask where your Heavenly Father wants you? Where will you speak for and serve your people? But come with me there are a lot of letters we must burn now. So thats what we did in case our homes get raided. We do not want to expose anyone.

Trouble trouble every where Posted on 04/20/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (4)

I dont know if it was too late, but finally we had some show of strength and authority by a governing body. In Lahore the Punjab University refused to let the Jamat-e-Islami students (a hard core student body) put up their book fair or Islamic books at the University. The University has its own book fair and they were invited to have a table with their books as a University Society, but they turned the invitation down and instead set up a stall with their books on Saturday. The University board came down hard on them and refused to let them carry on the sale. We could applaud it, but has it come too late. The problem was that in our college where we are, the students retaliated against what happened in Lahore at the PU (Punjab University). Ghanni as usual was the one spearheading the whole thing and when I got to college in the morning he asked me to stand by him. He said,'If they see a minority standing by me it will be a good thing- it will show I am not against Christians or am not out to cause trouble just to get the right for Muslims to put their books on sale and display'. I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me. Why do I always have to be the one in controversial situations? Why me? Then something in me snapped. I think he saw it in my eyes because I could see him wish he had not asked me to help. Basit his friend was muttering all manner of aggression against Ghanni for even talking to a 'Kafir'. I held back the volcanic eruption in my head and heart and forced myself to whisper my words to Ghanni. 'Ghanni', I must have hissed, 'It is hot enough, I am just about handling the heat and the newspapers, this is your battle. this is your problem. Dont get me wrong, I am not saying you should not have the right to sell your books, I am just saying tomorrow if I stood here with a stack of Bibles, you would not come and stand by me and ask the Governing body for the rights of the minority students. Your Jamiat friends would not let you. Ghani, all I want is to be left alone, to have the right to be a Christian. to read my Bible, to share my Bible and its message, and no one gives me a chance to say that or talk about Jesus. Every time I mention I see you guys asking God to forgive me. So just leave me alone. Please. There is no point using the week to fight a battle that has such strong opponents. Ghani, I am sorry, I will not be signing anything or asking for any one to let you put up this stall. What happened in Lahore ought to have happened a long time ago. We are losing control of this land and our identity and sense of community. We are losing our people. Stop this craziness Ghanni. Spend your energy reaching out to someone in need or being a support to someone struggling with their studies. You will do Pakistan more good that way. Come on Ghan. Think about this please. I love you my friend but this is going too far'. I cannot believe I said that to him. He is not likely to talk to me for a couple of days. He always pushes me over the edge and makes me say and do things I think better of after I say or do them. But only a few hours later the girls were sent home because riots were starting among the students and the Board of Educators President had his car stoned. There are little pots of aggression and frustration bubbling around the country. They are about erupt. And we need your prayer to stand strong in the midst of those. Tonight we have a youth meeting. Will you pray for us to be a blessing to one another?

God's Headlines Posted on 04/16/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (3)

My eyes scanned the papers as I prepared for college. Here are some of the headlines: Nizam-e-Adl will be reviewed if peace not restored: Zardari, Extremists serious threat to Pakistan’s existence: US, Brahamdagh Bugti seeks US, India help against Pakistan, 18 killed as suicide bomber attacks police in Charsadda, Pakistan-UK at odds over arrested terror suspects, Nizam-e-Adl enforced, Taliban execute eloping young lovers in Afghanistan, AND FINALLY THE MOST DISTURBING ONE TO ME Sikh families leave Orakzai after Taliban demand jizia. This last one made the milk from my oatmeal porridge curdle in my tummy. I went to college feeling sick this morning. Jizia is Under Islamic law, jizya is a tax that is levied on Non muslims who refused to convert to Islam but wanted to continue to live in the same place, if even under Islamic rule. In this case it is almost like a payment in return for being able to continue in one's own faith system and payment for protection. The news report say that the Taliban had asked the long time inhabbitants of those homes, Sikhs, for an exhorbatant ridiculous amount of money as Jizia. Did they ask for so much money because they knew they could not afford it and would have to leave and that is what they ultimately wanted, or did they think the Sikhs would pay up and they would have an endless source coming in from them? They were talking about it when I walked into class, they made it seem they were only discussing the Sikhs and I heard a comment to the affect of 'if you want to live under us and on our land you pay up', when I walked in the tune changed a little and it became about people who were not of the book, as in those who did not believe in the Abrahamic faiths, Muslims, Christians Jews. But I know what they were thinking and they knew what I was thinking and all morning I was hardly able to get one word out. I felt so sick and almost verbally paralysed. The heat made it worse and I could not wait to come home, the lecturer's words became one with the whirr of the fan as I looked at the clock waiting for it to strike 2. At home, Amma and my father comforted me. Not with words, there are no words, all of us just sat quietly over lunch, afterwards we sat under the cool breeze of the fan and the Air Cons have come on on the low setting. Normally a glass of good Pakistani Lipton Ice Tea (Mango) sorts me out, but that went untouched. I reached for my life line, the word of God. I thought of those who were being displaced because they could not afford to pay this unfair tax. Tomorrow perhaps it will be us! I wept and my tears fell on my Bible. I held it dearly- what if that is us tomorrow, maybe we could just about eek it out and pay for one month, but not for ever, it would cripple every Christian, most of whom have nothing to pay with. So would they be forced to convert? Would they? Then God's word, His headline spoke to me. 'God is our refuge and our strength' an ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar...the mountains quake...there is a river whose streams make glad the city of God...The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress'. How beautiful is the Word of our God.

Freedom, Gifts & Rights... Posted on 04/09/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (9)

As I wrote about Hannah Shah another story was breaking in Pakistan. A 17 year old girl was flogged in the North of Pakistan under Shariah law, for having an ‘affair’. Would being in the West have saved her- given her freedom? Some time ago I watched a recording of a television documentary similarly about how converts from Islam to Christianity are treated in England& how a whole pressure system has developed, even in what we thought was the ‘free world’ no one would listen to the cries of a young woman who asked for police help because her father was going to kill her for converting to Christianity &being in love with an English Christian. She was later taken to hospital where she died. This was Hannah's fear. Pray for the Hannah Shahs of the ‘freen world’. I cannot stress the importance of taking note of the many who flee to Europe every year because they think that in the ‘free world’ they will be welcomed with arms wide open for being Christians. It is because they see those countries have stood for freedom& rights. They have stood for opportunity& every year thousands find they are wrong. That very freedom has become a noose around the necks of those societies too. I spoke about a noose before. It seems to me no matter where I go, the battle will be. It appears to us here, that Islam has cast nooses all over the world& those are tightening, either through unwise unquestioned freedom or because Islam is the religion of the land. What is freedom? I have asked that before. Is it freedom something a government or parental authority or a spouse gives to those subject to them? Is it the right to chose your own ‘partner’ (even marriage being optional now in the West), to chose your preference of lifestyle, to give your children the freedom to make their own decisions once they are teenagers? Is privacy freedom? Or is freedom a gift of God¬ a right at all-a gift of God’s grace? Freedom to me as a Christian in the persecuted Church, is the absence of bondage. As a Christian I can continue to be free even though I am persecuted because no one can control the fact that I have given my life to Jesus, been washed by the blood of the lamb& am free from the power Satan had over me. No one can control that because that is between me& God. To be able to own a Bible, is precious, to be able to read it, till now that is a gift& perhaps in time because of the spread of Islam in the world I live in, that gift may be taken away. So while I have the freedom to read the Bible& go to Church, I choose to make it count, I choose to soak up scripture& learn it so it will not depart from me even when the leaves of my leather bound bible are taken away. I will go to Church& fellowship with my brothers& sisters while I am able. While you have – what you call freedom to go to Church, I hope you will start to see the gift of fellowship, the freedom to walk into a Borders or Barnes& Noble or Waterstones& buy any kind, colour, shape of Bible you desire, then sit in a public coffee shop, read it with other believers& pray together if you so choose. Those are gifts. I am thankful that you have that gift. That no one will follow you home& threaten you for doing that. I give thanks for your gifts. Let us both give thanks for our gifts& let us pray that the gifts we have will produce fruit in our lives, transform us into a likeness of Christ& prepare us either for persecution or for those who are persecuted&come to us for comforting – for blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.

Christlike? In these days? Posted on 04/08/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (1)

'Maaria, please please please come with Bhai. Bring Daadi and Taya and Tai (Paternal Uncle and Aunt) and then Johnny and Nini as well- come on Maaria- we worry about you guys so much’ This was my cousin pleading over the phone all the way from Europe. She had been in on Abraham’s search for scholarships and was disappointed when I said it was not the right time for me to leave. There are way too many things happening, one of us needs to be here in case Amma and Abba need someone to get Daadi and the younger one’s to safety. Amma and Abba will never leave. Their hearts are set to stay even if it all comes down around their ears. Sometimes I wonder about making a decision like that, but I am always stopped as there are many years ahead and I want to make sure I make a decision based on God’s will for my life. I have committed though to serving my people as a Christian till the day I die- in obedience to my first service and first love – of Christ. Only the Lord knows what the future holds for Pakistan in the days ahead . Will the Taliban gain a foothold and become empowered further through the Nation? We have weak leadership, they have already given power in the Northern Swat Region to the very same people who kidnapped and tortured a pastor in Peshawar just weeks before that. Very recently a Church leader from the North, a marked man, and now even in more danger for speaking openly to the world about the crisis in the North, pleaded for the West to wake up and take note to what is going on. Every day there are bombs, explosions, acts of terror. Such is their boldness that they have not even spared the Police training school in Lahore or the Intelligence headquarters in Lahore and Islamabad. The infiltration of the population, leadership and even our security forces is a frightening thought. I can understand why our family who left for the West are concerned for us. I can understand that they think we are crazy to stick around in a place that does not want us. But it goes a step further does it not – a sense of responsibility and commitment? I look at Daadi and see the sadness in her eyes. Every single day she prays and weeps before the Lord asking that He take her into his presence before she needs to leave Pakistan. She wants to be buried by Daada and in the same graveyard as her parents. She went to the graveyard with Amma the other day just to clean it and put flowers there. ‘I know he is not there but if we need to leave I want to know I am leaving it clean.’ She had said to me when I gave her a weird look. I never like to go to graveyards. I miss daada so much. He was a good man and loved the Lord dearly. In some ways I know his gentle spirit would have ached way too much had he seen how the beautiful land was being destroyed. But I miss watching him pray, sitting on the edge of his bed with a woollen shawl around his shoulders in winter, praying for everything under the sun. It is the prayer of the faithful that will keep the Church in this country alive. The Church cannot be snuffed out or killed. Of that I am certain. What is happening is that the noose is tightening around Her neck. The Living God will continue to breathe life into us. Pray that we will not lose hope and faith as that noose tightens and the vision can easily blur as blobs of colours grow into darkness as we begin to suffocate. May our eyes remain ever fixed on Him and we will be ok.

SOS for Holy week Posted on 04/08/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (2)

SOS Holy Week is here, we are three days into already. Could we ask that you commit to about 15 minutes every day praying for the Church in the Muslim world. This week many of your brothers and sisters some in the Secret Underground Churches and many in the Established Churches in countries like Pakistan, Iran, Afghanistan (where all Churches are Secret unless they are on a US base), Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Jordin, United Arab Emirates, the Gaza Strip, Yemen etc... will be meeting. Christians who attend the Established Church are at risk in the sense that their meeting places are normally Churches built in colonial times, recognisable and known Church buildings. Please pray for the Lord to send His Angels to watch over them, to hedge them in and keep anyone from coming to Church with ammunition or the intension to spoil the services of celebration, protect those who go to Church to worship and if someone does come may their ears and hearts be drawn to hearing the Gospel message and perhaps changing them forever. For your brothers and sisters who are Secret Believers and cannot worship in public, who may not even be able to have a service on Easter Sunday itself because they are under surveillance, pray for inspiration. Pray that they will not feel left out and the Lord would give them ideas and protection as they meet to celebrate the very essence of the Christian life, the resurrection life. For those who brave visiting an established Church, pray that seeing eyes be made blind and they be able to fellowship with other believers. For those in prison this Easter, pray for a special touch from Jesus, that they may feel the resurrection life of Jesus flow through them, that they may not feel alone and afraid wherever they are in their cells but would be able to feel connected to the Lord Jesus. For those in Muslim countries who are allowed to have Easter Services with Christian inmates, may it be an opportunity to ministry to them and those around them. Please pray especially for Pakistan. I am not saying the other countries are not important. But with the spate of violence and the onslaught of extremism, we ask that you would pray for protection of the Body of Christ, Church buildings, Pastors, priests and Bishops, Nuns and charitable organisations. We cannot do it without your prayers.

The place of an MBB's dreams? Posted on 04/06/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (2)

Thank you to you for your prayers and precious messages. When Pray for all the Maarias& Abrahams, for all the Christian Ammas & Babas (parents) al Christian families in the darkness we dwell in. When you pray scripture for us pray for all who are like us struggling with the same thing. That is why I write to you why I share with you. Maaria on her own is a no body, but as a member of the family of Christ, this is what Maaria is called to do, be a voice for the millions who cannot speak. But today there is another Hannah I want to talk about. There is another who belongs to our millions strong family who did dare to speak. Perhaps a lot braver that me, a sister Hannah Shah, born to an Imam& his wife in England& grew up there but chose to speak out. She is a voice of what happens to so many of the women who leave Islam and turn to Jesus. Hannah,was only little when she became the victim of incestuous child abuse. All this was happening in England. But it did not stop there, she fled home to escape her father& in time came to know Jesus. I could retell her story but who better to hear it from than Hannah herself. A woman who has chosen to do something about the nightmare that is the life of an apostate. The following article is well composed and so articulate about the kind of issues I want to share with you. Hannah says something that really struck me, ‘That sort of thing just doesn’t happen in this country – or that’s what they’d think. Second, I didn’t believe I would get help or protection from the authorities’. My eyes filled with tears –I sighed. I was thinking of Auntie Tabassum, Uncle Hameed, his daughter who he is scared will be kidnapped and married of a Muslim relative. As committed as they are to Jesus and continuing to serve him in spite of persecution they have this idea of the ‘free Christian west’. I may translate this article into Urdu and share it with people here. The fact that someone like Auntie Tabassum would not be believed if her persecution&abuse had happened in England instead of Pakistan- makes me feel so helpless. I never say ‘leave’, but sometimes it is nice to simply be able to believe that there is somewhere in the world they can dream about. Their dreams, like Hannah’s, are probably not of sunny beaches, palm trees&cooling drinks, but of a place where they can simply be able to believe in Jesus, where they do not have to come home to sexual& physical abuse because they believe in Jesus. Friends, the whole idea of ‘Secret Believers’ is no longer ‘out there’. If you live in Europe, the US or a relatively ‘free country’, if there are Muslims in your countries, then there are also Secret Believers. Your responsibilities under Matthew 28: 20 are in your neighborhood. Then again, I also want to remind you that not all Muslim fathers are incestuous rapists& physically violent. My friends have fantastic relationships with their dads. They love each other like any father&daughter would, but I know that if my friends ever fell in love with Christian guys or began to investigate Christianity with an interest to convert, the hammer they never knew was up there, would come down. That would be it. Reach out, are there are people in your street, like Hannah? Some do not know the threat they live with, like she did, some think life is perfect. Who is the Lord nudging you to reach out to? What will you do? Hannah spoke out, I drew your attention her story. Do we leave it there with a ‘tut’ - ‘It is so sad'?

what does the next second hold? Posted on 04/02/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (4)

Abraham’s story has taken a back seat. He is beginning to struggle with what seemed so clear and right to him. Can he leave us at this time? It is for him to work out with God and have the peace that the rest of us have. This time it is not about not having access to good Pakistani food and halwa and just home comforts. This time he knows his going is more serious. This time his going is about leaving home and perhaps never being able to come back? Will we still be around? The questions relating to life and death have become real. The younger ones are becoming used to the news about bombs and violence and death tolls and are beginning to think this is life we still have to live so let’s deny there is a problem. Then there are those who realise that everything we do is on radar. ‘They’ are watching us. At college, there is increased pressure to wear a scarf or dupatta to cover our heads. No one is saying it they are just looking at us. Those who don’t want to wear it have begun because they don’t want to start a riot or agitate the extremists. So those of us who do not wear it are not be accused of being un Islamic but of creating tension and an environment that is ripe for a riot and some kind of act of violence. For some of the extremist students it is bad enough that girls are college in the first place, sharing ‘space’ with men. I am in a government run university and Baba (my father) has suggested a move. He has seen how this is affecting me and with Abraham leaving it is safer for me to go private college. They are successful a lot of people go there and though they are more expensive, they give Christian children a better chance. He wanted me to go there in the first instance but I wanted so to be a light in the darkness. I am praying about it. I know I am more vulnerable now more than ever with Abraham gone. And every day there is some remark or other passed about Christians. The peace we have is just held by a week thread. Any day the tension is going to make it snap and the riot caused will be a nightmare. Then there is a Fareeda, can I leave her there? She is the only Christian in the hostel and then she will be one of the handful at Uni. But to be honest her parents wrote to her from their village recently and said if there is one more bomb she is being called back home. They don’t care if she is a medical doctor or not, they want her alive. I saw the look in her eyes- absolute pain but she knows how much her parents love her and she also knows she is no good to them dead and her family is ever so precious to her. There really is no choice, God gives us family and we put each other first. She is looking into the possibilities of going home for some time and when things get better she will try to come back. For now all our lives are hanging by that single thread- another bomb could explode any day or anywhere, will it be in the market place where I go to buy veggies with Amma, where the blind man and sings songs of praise to Allah and Mohammad, will it be where Auntie Tabassum and her family are hiding, will it be in the main market place whose narrow alleyway where a Pastor has begun to have worship meetings with the Christian street kids? Will it be in the bank that Abraham wanted to find work but they refused him? Will it be my co education university? Will it be in 3 seconds? Will you be praying for us in every second to come, will we be enveloped by your prayers? Above all- in the midst of all this uncertainty, fear and change- will we be like Jesus?