Email to Persecuted  |

too scared to celebrate! Posted on 10/29/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (9)

One never grows used to war and conflict when you are in it. I wonder about you my family. Do you grow used to the news about bombs and explosions and death in Pakistan and Afghanistan, Iran and Gaza? A little bit like when we heard about Swine flu I guess. I think it human nature to unconsciously recognise and affirm distance between what is our world and the world of someone else. That is not necessarily selfish or uncaring- it is the result of how the media has 'inoculated' us in some ways. Ninaa my cousin who lives in England, well she told me she was at the gym when she saw the news about Peshawar and the others in the room had their ipods on and were working out, some never even saw the news, others saw it and gasped, others squirmed a little and tutted, yet others did not even show any hint of caring but when the they announced that in one day Michael Jackson's new video had made 20 billion around the world most people responded and expressed themselves. But you know when I write to you I dont think I am writing to another world. I believe that IN Christ we are one family and I believe that by the power of His Holy Spirit He will show you how to feel for the rest of your family because we all suffer as one body. I have such a strong sense of faith that every time I write there are those of you who pray for my country - not just those who respond but all of you who pray for us. I know the Holy Spirit is at work. I know we are cared for not only by our Father, but by all His Children everywhere. You know I asked you for prayer because I want to dance before the Lord but I sense a spiritual Burka in our land. I just want to share with you the words of an older lady in Peshawar after the bomb went off. Words that reminded me of the battle - not only between Good and Bad but also between a God who wants us to celebrate life and rejoice and the Evil One who wants us to play a dirge and mourn. I will leave you with the words of an 70 year old lady- a Muslim lady - and I ask that you will pray that she will come to know Jesus - so the soundtrack changes for her: Death is dancing in this city. Every week it strikes in a different shape and nobody is here to stop it. I don’t know where to go.'

Sunday Services in Pakistan. Posted on 10/25/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (5)

Very soon we will be leaving for Church. I logged on quickly just to remind you to be praying for your brothers and sisters across Pakistan this morning. We leave in about 10 minutes. Some Churches have already had services, so far every thing seems ok, but we need you to pray that today will remain peaceful. We need you to pray with us that as brethren across Pakistan meet and Pastors minister to the congregations armies of angels may surround God's people and keep them safe for attacks, terror, violence, suicide bombings or armed invasions of property. Please I ask that you uphold us as we travel to our Churches, as we worship and as we travel back. Many of the churches have police and security to protect us, but we know our real protection comes from the Lord. I ask that you pray for these security and police agents who stand at the gates of Churches and keep watch and try to thwart any attempts at hurting Christians. May they see the Church as God's home, may they see the beauty of Christ's body and may their ears and hearts be turned to Christ and may they come to know Him. Pray for their proection. Some of them have young families, most of them are innocently caught in the line of fire. Please pray that through this, we may be able to minister to them the love of Christ. Thank you for standing for us in the gap.

Spread the word... Posted on 10/23/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (3)

My bed was rocking some time last night. Must have been about 2 am. I woke up and perhaps like the rest of the people who were woken up- my first thought was- oh no a bomb- am I going to die? No I was not dying. In the early hours, a violent earthquake rocked afghanistan and a lot of Pakistan though where I am it was not as extreme and they say that the center of it was a very remote region so they do not expect too many casualties. None the less we were afraid. I heard the chawkidar (watchman) from our neighbour's courtyard yell out from his sleep and call out to Allah and then on composing himself he gave thanks that his fears of a bomb were unfounded. Within seconds my mobile phone rang. Little Leena my cousin who lives in Lahore was sobbing on the phone. She is only 8 and I heard her frightened little voice on the other end of the line. 'Maaria didi, mummy said I could call and speak with you in the morning but I cant wait. I am too frightened didi, can I come and stay with you and dadi. School is closed but I am frightened when mummy and papa go to office in the morning. Can I come and stay with you please didi?' Ofcourse she could and what she did not knwo was that her mother, (my father's sister) had already called and spoken with amma. Lahore was not safe and so little Leena would come to us. To be honest no where in Pakistan is safe but we are a little out of the line of fire so far. I comforted her. Abraham would go and pick her up in the morning and bring her. It was a long car ride but public transport is not safe. I hope she was able to get some sleep after that. I was just not able to sleep at all. There is a war in my country, children's lives are being affected and put at risk every second of every day, their learning is being hindered, their development being affected. There is no fairness in a system such as this. How can we hope for a dance in this dirge? This was the dirge and the Burka I was talking to you about. My heart is aching for Leena and her friends. For their teachers and the nuns who have so faithfully taken care of generations of young people in this country and given Pakistan her leaders, Musharraf, Benazir, Nawaz Sharif- have all been through Christian Schools. Please continue to pray for the Pastors. I am so concerned about Pastor Yakoob, Rev Yohanna, Rev Mani, Rev Junas, Rev Masih, Pastor Khadim, Pastor James, Pastor Thomas... Uncle Hameed and his people. Please spread the word, spread the need for prayer for Christians, for Churches, for Christian Schools, for children, for the Lord servants and children in this land. Please spread the word- we need you to pray for us. Email these blogs to others, share them in your prayer meetings, share them at Church. Anything - just get the Body of Christ praying.

Because He lives all fear of the Taliban can be gone Posted on 10/20/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (6)

I do not even know where to start. You may have heard, it seems this email is doing the rounds, but it is true. we have been threatened, our schools have been shut and our priests and leadership have been told that they must convert and close down their Churches and Schools. If not they will be killed and Christian women will be raped. Who has sent this email. Well we think it is the Pakistani Taliban, but we do not know. But this we know these are not empty threats. These are serious times. I can hardly type. My fingers are struggling to find the keys. I am filled with concern for our pastor and his family who live on the Church compound and many many other priests like him. These families live on the Church premises and take care of those who come with questions and needs. Things are so bad. We do not even think that the police presence is enough. Police centers of their own are not safe, we do not stand a chance. Please pray for us. Christian schools, like Convents have been shut down. These are institutions that have brought education and development to Pakistan for hundreds of years and now these women who have given up their homes and their lives to serve God in Pakistan are being tragetted and are being threatened. These nuns, are willing to dye for obeying the call God has placed on their lives. I ask you to keep them in prayer. They love Jesus and they have served faithfully. My throat is dry. All I know is that I am holding on to the words of the hymn that is giving me so much comfort at the moment. 'Because He lives Pakistani Christians can face tomorrow, Because He lives all fear of the Taliban can be gone, Because We know He holds the future, Life is worth the living Just because He lives.' Pray this for us. Because to be honest with you right now I am very very frightened.

Too full to sleep- Posted on 10/15/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (2)

I just can not seem to sleep. There is no sound except that of restless sleep and crickets. But I am distracted by the very things I spoke to you of in my previous blogs. The voices, the music, the screaming, the noise of violence, terror, hatred and sicrimination that perhaps comes to every Pakistani. My heart is full of thoughts and a compassion and love for Pakistan's Christians. I just want to pour out my love for my brothers and sisters. This week God has directed me toward the needs of my people, He has allowed me to go through the challenge of being a girl in this context and feel how isolating and uncaring the world of men can be. Sorry- I must go - I hear Dadi call out to me. I will go and see if she is ok and get back to you. But my heart is full tonight of the needs of my family, my people, the people God has called me to tell you about in these blogs. So if I cannot get back to you tonight - please do not wait till the next blog to pray for us. I must sign off for now.

Why Maaria? Posted on 10/15/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (1)

God is filling me with a passion through my circumstances to raise up more urgent prayer for my people. I am aware of my privileges- Baba loves me& makes no difference between my brothers &us allowing us equal opportunities. Amma is treated well. We have a large&comfortable family home. Unlike many Pakistani Christians who are held back because they are Christians- from better jobs,education, better living&above all- better understanding of the God's word - simply because they are illiterate. Who then is Maaria to blog about the life of Pakistani Christians? She lives in comfort&is educated. What would she know of the real lives of poor Christians? Rich or poor we are ONE. I write as a Pakistani believer in Jesus called to do this, I sit on the floors&worship with Sharifaan&read the Bible to her while we cook lunch-there we encourage one another's faith. It was in a beat up old car that Baba Ikram taught us Bible verses&hymns of praise on our way to Bible studies at the homes of wealthy people or very poor people. The luxury is not the car or house, but our brethren ministering to one another,being the family of Christ- not poor Christians but Victorious Christians. I write our shared&collective story- suffering together, feeling each other's pain& rejoicing- as one-not defined by what we do NOT have, but by what we do have& what we are at risk of losing. It is not about wealth. Cars, help at home&a bedroom of your own are blessings but not signs of wealth in Pakistan- everyone has help at home - even those who are help at someone else's home! I see this as an opportunity- to share the hearts of our family - whether they are under the open sky in the Sindhi or a farm in the Punjab, hiding in the North Western Tribal Regions of Pakistan or live in huge houses in posh neighbourhoods, have pools, cars& miles of lawn. We are one because we are Christians in a Muslim environment, with the same persecution over our heads, but access to the power of the same God in the battles we face as Christians. Nothing else matters but Jesus& my brethren. I am not only writing FOR them, but the more I write I see them writing WITH me, sharing, urging,weeping,begging that the world know their stories&pray. Nurses, Priests, students, cleaners, bankers, lawyers teachers, hair clip vendors, little boys& girls selling stale pop corn and balloons on Christmas eve- all known by the name of Masih (Messiah) but not all of know why nor much of the Bible's account of who He is& why they suffer for Him- yet the little they know makes Him the better God, healer& loving Father- for them to know& understand, for you to pray that their tomorrow be better- I write. When I write I do not bring you the cry only of a lone little child in the middle of nowhere with torn clothes, a runny nose, dirty finger nails,malnourished, yellow eyes, diseased, smelly& just simply poor. Our cry is for Charity- but never forget that charity is LOVE &LOVE we know from Christ is about pouring ourselves out on behalf of each one precious to the Father. Not only for a poster image of poverty but a need as real as world hunger&poverty but far more urgent- for men& women to have access to the Bible, discipleship and fellowship. This cry can come from hearts in homes like the Taj Mahal itself, hearts hidden behind heavy gold jewelry&embroidered Burkas or Jeans, long beards& turbans. I bring you the battle cry from this field- a call for prayer - for our world where Jesus wants YOU to be involved, to fight for us and with us.

Who can dance in the midst of these ashes? Posted on 10/14/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (1)

Across the country every day a new attack and new act of violence, more families being torn apart, more grieving widows and orphans, more havoc and loss. Across these lands, the darkness, the blackness, that Burka I was talking about it tightening its grip over us, suffocating us - not only as believers, but as a nation, being deprived of life and joy and safety. This is what I was talking about. Just when you start contemplating the possibility of reaching out in dance and song and worship and adoration, just when your feet start to tap in tune to the music, just then the music is interuppted and the only change in tune and beat is of your heart. How then can we dance, when all around us being played is a dirge? Through Christ- I am assured within my spirit - through Christ who have conquered death who has made the dirge a lie and irrelevent. Through Him and In Him we can be filled with the life and the courage to reach out to those who need comfort, healing and restoration at this time, in that we will dance for Him. In sharing forgiveness and grace and not becoming bitter, in that we will dance and in our dance we will raise the eyes of many to behold Jesus. But we cannot dance this dance alone. You have to dance with us or our dance is incomplete. We need you to stand in for us. That is how a family dance together to please the Lord our God.

Dancing for Christ II Posted on 10/13/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (3)

Have you been praying for our hearts and dreams? I am sorry the other day I had to cut short my blog. Dadi had just seen the news of the hostages in Islamabad. Once again we have had a wave of terrorist acts and once again we are shrouded in a a sense of uncertainty. I sat close to her in case she felt faint from the news. enough so I can hear her if she calls out and that is why I had to go. She is getting stronger every day. While I am at college Sharifaan sits with her and reads to her from the Bible. But news like this throws her every time. Well I was asking you to pray for the dreams and desires of the Maarias of the Muslim World where the Burka is not just a cloth that enshrouds women , it is the very cloaking of the judgment with which people look at you and control you. I was also referring to terror attacks and violence. Acts like this fall around us blocking our vision for a future and the ability to look inside and see what we want for our lives- let alone what is beautiful. That's what I need prayer for. Just do not forget that what I am sharing with you is the story of thousands and thousands of Maarias in Pakistan, in Iran, Afghanistan. All these places where women long to be free but they are cacooned, sometimes imprisoned but even those who are not forbidden from expressing themselves become conscious or the eye of the condemning Muslim neighbour who would disapprove of a girl dancing or playing music or going to show with friends. Everything is held against a standard. A few years ago I was in Church and in the middle of Prayer, Praise and Worship, I was so filled with the Lord's love and goodness that I wanted to dance. Now I know that in my Church if I had danced, no one would have been offended. But my legs became like lead. I was unable to move, I felt 1000 Muslim eyes on me shaking their heads and shocked that women were dancing in Church, brazenly unconcerned about God seeing their form move. I do not know how to explain that to you. It has happened every time since. I long to dance before the Lord, I long to worship him with my body but every time, I am moved by the Holy Spirit to do that, legs turn to lead, and I feel those thousand eyes on me. I end up weeping and just knowing I am not using something He is giving me, a gift and yet I am unable. I know that many of my sisters in these Muslim countries face the same thing. How much harder must it be for a women in a Burka to want to express her love and gratitude to her husband for a small gift or kindness, but to be forbidden to express her emotions because that is only done by wayward women. My God has not forbidden me from stepping up to Him and giving thanks for HIs many blessings but I am who am not forbidden feel inhibited and held back. Pray for us, in our hearts we want to dance by those still waters, by those green pastures, by that table He has laid for us. We want to but we cant - we want to but we do not know how any more. Pray for us that we will dance in this place of ashes for our King who will bring beauty from such destruction. Pray that our vision and our desires would in harmony with His heart of love.

Dancing for Christ Posted on 10/12/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (4)

I want to share a secret with you because I know you pray for me. This is not just my sercet, this is possibly the secret of many many Maarias in the Muslim World. We no longer know how to let go&be free & comfortable about our bodies & well - just about ourselves. As girls we are watched all the time, everything we do translates into the honour of the men of our homes or our community. Whether your own family see it that way or not, the world is looking at you, &when you are a Christian girl, no matter what you do you have two types of people watching= people from within your community who do not want anyone to shame the people of God (and we can go way too far in that) and Muslims who are actually waiting for you to trip up so they have some mud to sling at the Church. So really you grow up analysing everything around you. I have never been over analytical and I have never had pressure from my family but in school Christian teachers always went on and on and on about how we have to do really well because other wise we will amount to nothing in the Muslim work place (they were not wrong but we needed to breathe too) and that we needed to do well and behave honourably because we were being watched and the Muslim girls would only possibly think well of Christianity if we behaved well (which is truISH to a point) but it made me very conscious of not grieving anyone or offended anyone but none the less I was never over analytical and in fact reacted to that both in them and myself by developing a 'live and let live' mentality. Until a few years ago I thought I had it all under control. I thought I had buried away the past and those tough school years when we were never good enough and always had to be shining Christian examples- I realise thats what I had done, I had only buried, not dealt with those problems, hurts and dreams. I had wanted to do so many things that I had not been able to do because there was always too much homework and never time to dwell on my dreams and make them happen. Oh great so much for wanting to share something with you - Dadi is calling me. I will go see her. But I have shared a lot with you about the life a Maaria growing up. In my next blog I will share with you about my secret heart's desire. In the meanwhile pray for our hearts and our dreams. I know they matter to Jesus.

Dadi is home and seems to have found a new purpose Posted on 10/10/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (1)

We have brought Dadi home. She is better but tired& stays in bed a lot of the time. When I took her breakfast porridge and chai (we call oats dhalya) in for her this morning she was sitting up in bed her dupatta (long scarf) had fallen off her head (older people&some Christians in Pakistan still hold dearly to Paul's teaching about head covering but some people like Dadi are not legalistic about it)& she was chatting away with the Lord. ' If you have work for me here on this earth then fine give me the health to do it or else take me home but don't let me feel purposeless and like a burden'. I smiled - she must be better if she fighting with the Lord-but felt sad too. She is precious & we could not think of life without her. She is hardly a burden. She has cared for each one us& having old people in the home is always a blessing with all the praying they do&the way they keep us grounded in who we are & keep reminding us of all the prayers that have been said for our families over the years. I have been pushing the thought to the back of my mind but her prayer brought it home to me that one day she will leave& then we will have to carry on with the same faithfulness, perseverance and boldness. We moved the computer into her room so she could read the emails that had come in for her. While she finished her porridge I tried logging onto youtube. Voila it worked! So I put on praise songs for her. As she reveled in the pictures of mountains &eagles a light seemed to go on. 'Beti' (which means daughter/child) and she realised that this computer which she had been thinking was the curse of the 21st century and the breaker of all decent social behaviour and communication - suddenly it dawned on dadi that this very thing could be a blessing to those women who are not allowed to leave home without a Meherm (male companion). Suddenly it dawned on her that those who have no other access to Christians or Bibles or Churches could access the word of God, hymns and a way to Jesus. Of course we wont go down the road that says that we have gone every shade of every colour to explain that to her in the past. Suddenly computers &internet were no longer about Solitaire &useless noise that we call music, no longer were they about keeping people from going out & meeting& fellowshipping. They were a portal to the Body of Christ for those who had no other way. We live in difficult times. We have grown to used to technology& flicking on our computers but to see the delight in the eyes of dadi was so refreshing. She realised that - if used sensibly and carefully this could be a channel to reach the unreached with the most precious thing she knew. Have we grown so used to our communication on the internet that we have forgotten how much it can count in the Kingdom? How about putting a praise or worship video up on youtube- maybe a Muslim friend of mine will watch it. How about praying that today when a Mariam or a Ghani or an Ahmad or Ayesha or Hussain, Ali or Hassan, log into youtube then come across a Christian worship video that points to Jesus &ministers to their need. How about asking God to inspire you to write something - something you write or sing and put music to could be God's answer to the questions or searchings of some one in a land far away from you or in a town next door to you- some Muslim may find the meaning of life because you sought to use your talents for Jesus.

Hospitals - where all kinds happen Posted on 10/08/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (1)

Dadi is still in hospital she goes home in a few days. She hates it here. She wanted to go home the day she got here. But God has been good. Whenever we walk in we find her counseling a nurse, ministering to someone or the other, whether the cleaning lady, or the people changing her bed linen or the doctor. The doctor was smiling as he left the room yesterday. 'If your dadi gets better then it is because of her faith in God' and then behind him from the room we heard her call out ' My faith in Jesus - Jesus is my God' . He chuckled and rolled his eye balls making it evident he was not taking it amiss. It is amazing how an older person is able to command respect from a younger Pakistani doctor- even one like Doctor Aziz who has a long beard and a mark on his forehead that indicates that he says all his five prayers in the day. He is a good natured doctor with a desire to make his patients well and comfortable. He offers them words of comfort and prayers from the Islam he is so faithful to. But he has never rudley brushed dadi off. He has always let her share Jesus with him and has always listened. Once or twice we have been taken aback at dadi's boldness but because she is an older lady he listens and smiles. He has come to love her and when she goes home I wonder how he will process this conversation. My wonderfully over enthusiastic cousin made quite the booboo. I wish I could time travel and erase the moment. For some reason she thought that the nurse whow as injecting dadi was a Christian (remember I told you most of the nurses in Pakistan has been Christians up until now). The nurse from the morning shift had been ever so rough and had hurt dadi badly. My cousin after deciding that Sister Fauzia (the nurser presently in the room) was a Christian, declared - not quietly but with pride in her voice: 'Maaria you see the difference between a Christian nurse and one who does not know the compassion of Jesus. Just see how gentle Sister Fauzia is handly dadi'. Sister Fauzia insitantly responded with a fiery look 'Who told you I am a Christian- I am a Muslim and I am compassionate to the patients because God made them and God has given me the opportunity to care for them'. I do not even know what to say. I feel so embarrassed by that. I wish I could make it go away but I cant. It happened and now we just have to pray she does not lash out some other way. Dadi, always able to whip up an answer went quiet and closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. Abraham left the room and took our cousin with him and guess who was left to make small talk and look awkward. I followed Sr Fauzia out of the room and apologised to her. I told her I was sorry but that the morning's nurse had been especially rough and we had been upset but to forgive us for making that statement. My cousin was only responding to all kinds of comments Christians hear in the hallways and it was a reaction to what we tend to see. I do not know if she believed my apology but she smiled and walked away. These are the situations we your brothers and sisters face every day. There are the Dr Aziz situations of Hope and there are blunders and the mistakes we make too. God can work in both - but pray for us for discernment and hope and love. That in all things Christ be glorified. Pray for the Dadis of Pakistan, Christians in hospitals across the country that Christ be seen in their hope and the lack of fear of death. What an opportunity to witness.

Fears and Hopes Posted on 10/06/2009 12:00 AM   |  EMail to Friend   |  View Comments (7)

It has been so busy. Dadi has been unwell and in hospital. She seems to be in and out of consciousness. She will be alright We take it in turns to stay with her. It is old age but also her fretting for Abraham leaving, John not taking his faith seriously and concerns about my future. She sees my friends getting married and engaged and is worried I will never get married. I am only 22. You know from time to time I used to remind you that I am just the name& face of the 1000s of Christian girls in Pakistan.Never forget that. Please pray for the Maarias of Pakistan& the rest of the Muslim world. Young women who want to pursue a career, improve themselves, develop their skills& their talents& make something of themselves, young women who value their parents'& grandparents' prayers for a good husband,& young women who value motherhood. Pray for us. We want to get somewhere but it is so unsafe& insecure. I do not blame my Taya (father's older brother- but the person I am speaking of is Baba's older cousin) for disapproving when boys call for me - especially Muslim ones. I know they are concerned because so many Christian girls have fallen in love with Muslim boys& have thought they could win them for Jesus &have ended up having to compromise on their own faith. I had my own struggles of the heart. It is hard for me to talk of them because of the deep hurts, but I have healed so much by the grace of God,love of Jesus& the power of the Holy Spirit. None the less, their fears are valid from where they stand. Every Maaria in Pakistan faces that. Will you pray for us? That we be faithful to the Lord, do well at finding our talents & tapping into the resources that we can, that we will be safe in the work place, in schools&colleges& that our hearts, bodies& faith will be preserved? We cannot stand in this stormy place without you praying that our feet be firmly planted on the Rock. Dadi's friend Auntie Gladys came to the hospital. They always make us giggle. They ' pray' about every thing but it is an interesting way of discussing all us grand children- the next generation of the Church family here in Pakistan. Dadi was only semi conscious when Auntie came in but the minute she saw her friend she was full of life. Abraham& I giggled& pretended not to be listening. Though they did the information passing, it was amazing how much faith they have put in the Lord for the lives of their grand kids. It was hilarious to hear them speak in the local dialect & discuss how Abraham needs to settle down& I need to be engaged& how her grand daughter is giving them a lot of trouble& insisting she wants to work in a bank& how she wears sleeveless shirts despite the situation in the country. Things are bad. They do throw acid on girls who they perceive to be too exposed &they do kidnap Christians& they do follow us when we get on buses after college or walk home. But we cannot stop living. We cannot stop TRYING to make life better &improve it for the next generation. If we go quiet&into hiding then we will become a forgotten people to the authorities of this land. We do not want to be a lamp hidden under a bushel. I know Dadi&Auntie G mean well. But I hope that they will bless us on our journeys&bless us as we step out each day as bearers of Christ into the dark dark world around us. It is hard enough on he outside we want their prayers at home.