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Marriage and family 1.
Posted on 04/30/2010 12:00 AM
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Exams have kept me and many others thoroughly busy. Because of the unrest in the country and having missed so many exams, many people have to prove themselved this time. So many people were given easier marking the last couple of times because of every having suffered so much trauma.
Then when I thought it was all over and I penned in the final full stop on my examination sheet and left the classroom, I walked toward the car with this dream of ice cold mango juice and sitting in the garden in front of the outdoor fan just soaking in the last of the April blossoms.
I walked int oa family gathering! Something I had not quite expected. Aunts and Uncle talking and baba did not look amused or impressed. In fact I was surprised to see so many aunts and uncle and my very first thought was panic about Dadi, until I saw her crying in the corner of the room. Something had happened.
Abraham signalled me to quietly walk out the front door and come the other way so no one would see me. He would meet me out in the garden.
First he made me promise I would not lose it. But he was upset because my Uncle who had lived all his life in the US had decided to come back and intervene in the family and 'educate' his brothers on how to care for their daughters. The words must have stuck in Abraham's throat. He looked at me and said our Uncle thought it was time, that he and my cousin who was a year older than me got married (not to each other but that is also common in my country) as it was stopping proposals for myself and my young cousins.
Abrham knew me well, so he put his hand over my mouth and walked me to the back of the house and said I could scream if I wanted.
The days ahead are going to be interesting. This is the story of many christians families. My cousin, Angel, is not interested in getting married right now. She wants to work some more but her family feel she is wasting her time and will not be appealing if she gets much older. She is only 24 but they think she is too old and they want their other daughter, who isa year younger than me to marry. But for her to be married I will also have to get married after Angel. I knew where this was headed.
Baba, unlike many other Pakistani Christians had put his foot down and said 'Maaria will not marry till God brings the right man and she wants to get married'. Uncle of ocurse, like many Pakistani men, even Christian men, was threatening to take our names of his will. Another Aunt threatened not to come to my wedding when it happened if it did not happen soon, another threatened not to have anything to do with us. This is not malice this is the problem of an honour shame culture where an older relative, especially a brother or sister has a sense of power and rights, and feels let down at a time like this.
I looked at baba but I did not need to plead. I knew he was completely balanced. I looked at my Uncle and I wanted to scream- but it did not come out. I felt as though the Lord was silencing me to let my farther minister to my Uncle at this time and to love my uncle that he may see another way. Despite this I was just loving him more.
I am not the only one. Some girls have fathers who force them to marry because IT IS TIME. will you pray for those girls. Girls forced into loveless marriages with men who do not love them. Pray for Christian girls in Pakistan, for them to have Christian husbands and for Christians in Pakistan who walk with Jesus to minister to their nominal brothers and sisters still governed by honour and shame.
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Exams, studies and all that pressure
Posted on 04/07/2010 12:00 AM
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So I lagged a little over Easter. I did not keep up with my assignments&asked for a few extensions. Now it is catching up. Easter service was beautiful but sadly many of the young people did not turn up. Normally no one misses Easter Sunday but several young people were not there because of exams which started yesterday. Every one has their noses in their books and this time of the year is especially crazy. Those who do not want to make this effort themselves are 'helped' do so and sometimes this help comes looking like a wooden spoon or a cane!
Yes in Pakistan&India we still use the good old 'treatment'. On the whole, I never regret a single smack I got as a child. I never regret being 'treated'. It never really hurt physically, just a wounded ego but I know that it never hurt me. The Bible says spare the Rod and spoil the child! One time actually I got it at school. I was about 6 and had not done homework for my catechism class (Christian teaching). If you remember I told you I went to a Catholic School. I had completely forgotten the homework even what it was. I go red every time I think of it. When Sr Maricelle (A European sister) asked me why I did not do my home work I told her some tall tail or other.
I still remember being asked to step into the next room where a long rod was used. It did not hurt but did hurt my pride. Then Amma was called in and I was given a long talking to about telling fibs and about doing my homework! I assure you I never did it again! So the old 'Rod Treatment' was ok. Although sadly there are those who lose control and only use the rod. Some of my Muslim friends were terrified of the cane. They were terrified of making their dads mad. The guys are still terrified because they have been beaten way too much as little boys, for getting verses of the Koran wrong, for not saying their prayers, for giggling in the middle of Islamic reading or prayers.
Studies are considered sacred in Pakistan. It is a privelege. So many young people do not have access to the good schools that we were able to go to. As Christians, we are aware that thas access not only limited because of finances but also because of discrimination in small more remote communities. We are also aware that if we do not work hard, Muslims students will receive all the scholarships and deserving Christian studenst will never be able to make it to professional college or be noticed for internships or jobs.
Exam time is a time of extreme pressure. Parents stress for their children and we stress to make sure we have not missed anything. If the exams are in March the revision starts in November of the previous year. In fact in my home, revision is year round because Dadi would sit us down every evening with our books and supervise us. There was no TV till the home work was done and then one hour of revising the previous day's work.
Christian parents work hard to put their children through school so they can have a chance at professional careers. The pressure is always on. If we do badly we will suffer, if we do well the Muslim children in class do not like it and we come under pressure to miss exams or are graded unfairly.
Pray for Pakistan's Christian's students in these days as we sit exams and assements. That we may keep our eyes on Jesus and not be tempted to pay bribes, cheat or give up. Yes even for an 10 year old that is just the tip of the iceburg of experience. Pray that we will cast our cares on Jesus.
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Jesus Christ has Risen Indeed
Posted on 04/03/2010 12:00 AM
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I was up before every one to make hot cross buns for the family. The morning was still fragile and so was the birds' music. The heat is beating down on us as though it is May. We had our usual heat on Good Friday and humidity on Maundy Thursday. I am excited that our Easter lilies are out&the garden full of colour&life.Spring always brings a refreshing reminder of life in the midst of talk of death&destruction.
The Taliban can bring fear into our lives but they cannot defeat God. They think they are fighting for Him, if only they knew they are fighting His power- that which runs in the soil springing through the earth as beautiful flowers&hatching in nests, birthing birds& releasing their music into the air.He is alive& in control. We do not have to fear them. Beyond the power that runs through the soil&causes those flowers to spring is the power of His Word.
This week we have dwelt much on the Word. Especially the Word that became Flesh& suffered for us. We have had beautiful times of prayer&reflection that have been more satisfying than anything else.Despite the sadness of what is going on in our country& happening to Christians in these lands, I am reassured that Jesus bore it all before us&we have Him&His experience&His promise to fall back on. He is alive.
Today as we had our 3 hour Good Friday service, it co incided with Friday prayers and sometimes they crank up the volume on their louspeakers so their message for the day is heard by us&we do-it always talks about how misled Christians are&how Good Friday never happened because Allah provided a subsititute, perhaps Judas, to take Jesus' place&the Romans crucified him instead. All this because God would never allow his prophet who was a good man to suffer for a crime he did not commit.
I am humbled-that is exactly why He did suffer. So when we suffer we know that He suffered &felt the pain of physical torture&rejection&denial by His own&then not only did He suffer& die. He rose again. That we will celebrate on Sunday&I ask that as you go about today in the west as the night falls for you on the 3rd, the Easter sun will be rising on us. We will begin Church services across the lands of the Mid East&Asia. Lands where many reject&even hate the message of the Gospel. So as we celebrate what is a stench to them, there maybe those who want to rise against us, our churches, schools&communities.They may want to attack us for Jesus' name.
So pray for us. Pray if someone rises to hurt us they may hear the name of Jesus. If someone rises to attack us they may be stopped by the brilliance of the Light of Christ&come to Him &fall in allegiance before Him. May the Church shine brightly for Christ this Easter day&every day ahead in lands darkened by lies&hopelessness in a religion that gives them just that.
We pray the same for you. As you fall at the feet of the Risen Saviour as Mary did when they went to prepare His body&found Him alive,we pray you be filled with holiness in systems injected with lies of modernity&that you do not need God. We pray you too will remain faithful. Happy Easter. Rejoice HE IS RISEN.
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